Saturday, May 23, 2015

Constellations

I remember as a kid looking at what my granpa told me were angel kisses all over my body. Moles and freckles. It was around the time I was learning about constellations. If they were angel kisses that made a lot of sense to me because several of my freckles looked exactly like my favorite constellations.
My mom caught me in the tub several times with pens or markers connecting the dots trying to see just how much my body aligned with the stars.

This thought came to me when i realized a major mole was removed during the reshaping of my armpits. They were worried it was going to be cancerous from an early age because it kept getting so big. I do not miss the big mole and Thankfully while in the shower suffering from anxiety and grief of my missing body parts I realize now that looking at the constellations on my arm without even acknowledging why or that what it was had brought me comfort.

now here is something else quite strange. The constellation on my arm happens to be on the state flag I now reside in. I wonder if I Christ had a star that led to him if people followed this constellation if it would lead them to me. No I am not claiming to be any near what he is but I fancy any similarities. I am always looking for signs that he is thinking of me and loves me. I am hoping I am always trying to show him the same.

I also remember sharing with my half sister my constellations and we discussed our angel kisses because my sister is a red head and she was not as fond of hers as I am of mine. I told her oh she had so many more angels looking after her than I did and she was really loved. we found out them we also had matching or extremely very similar birthmarks. which of course was very exciting being half sisters made us feel more of a bond with each other.

I grew up surrounded by red heads covered with angel kisses I was a blonde and what made mine special was that mine were constellations.